Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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