Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize