Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
