Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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