Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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