just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
