That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
pray to the hookup gods
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
