there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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