It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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