Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
