going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
