ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
