I want to have your abortion
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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