Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize