And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
