dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
