oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
