ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
where am i from again
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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