he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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