there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
