Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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