My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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