The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
