So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
