Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
