My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
