I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
