hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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