that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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