do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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