I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
