Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Houston, we have a blender
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Randomize
