whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
