Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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