She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wish you could order shots online.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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