Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize