ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
