I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
