They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
