can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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