i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
