He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
