I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
