I hope mine doesn't look like that
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
