I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
