Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just had sex bonerless
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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