is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Barsexuality is the new black.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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