out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
