So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
