Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
