Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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