whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
