I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
