forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
