Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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