i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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