Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I could fuck to npr.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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