And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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