Im at strip club and am horny
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
