But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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