she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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