Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
