Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
