Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
too bad you live with your parents still
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We left the knife in your bed.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
