glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize