hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
