Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
