yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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