we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Sober January is a disaster.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
